Praise you in the storm.

I'm amazed sometimes when I sit back and look at my life. It's hectic, it's challenging, it's beautiful, it's challenging, it's wonderful, it's everything.  I see pain, suffering, struggle all day long. I hear stories that no one should have ever experienced. I see survivors, triumph, success. I hear stories that remind me that every day in life is a battle, a challenge. Some days I leave work so happy because I could see how I helped someone. Some days I leave drained, challenged to "leave work at work."

I come home to a great husband and a busy life. We're trying for so much. There is progress, setbacks, uncertainty, and great things on the horizon. Life is uncertain, life is complex. But I have life. In all the busy times, in all the struggle, in the setbacks, in the uncertainty, in the great things, in the progress, in the suprises, in the opportunities. I am blessed. My husband supports and encourages me in all that I do, in all that I want to do. I have a wonderful family and amazing friends. They encourage me, support me, listen to me, and give me advice when I need it. They wrap their love around me so that I will never forget that I am loved or alone. I have a job where I am helping people share their stories, to heal and move on, to cope, and to learn that they too are not alone. Simply put, I am blessed beyond measure. I have so much to be thankful for and that is what I need to focus on. I am loved, I am blessed, and God is great.

I just hope the words of this song continue to be true on the days where I am overwhelmed, stressed, and burdened, because I know there is so much going on:  As your mercy falls, I raise my hands and I praise the God who gives and takes away. I'll praise you in this storm. And I will lift my hands. You are who you are, no matter where I am. Every tear I cry, you hold in your hands. Never left my side, although my heart is torn. I will praise you in this storm. I lift my eyes into the hills, where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth.  (Casting Crowns)

Yay!

As I get ready for starting my new job, I'm trying to get a ton done, which includes grocery shopping, cleaning, laundry, etc. Since Tim and I will be on some insane schedules, I'm trying to stock up now for some quick/easy meals that are still somewhat healthy! Thankfully, HT has Super Doubles this week. So this morning, I got up and I went on my first grocery store run!

The results:
Spent $21 before tax and saved $107!! That's almost 84%!
Savings from HT Sales: $54.56
Savings from Coupons: $26.60
Savings from Doubled: $17.09
Savings from E-coupons: $4.49 
Savings from Meat Rewards: $5.00

Another reason why couponing is the way to go! I got a lot of really good foods (not junk) with coupons!

Calling.

As I was sitting in church on Sunday, hearing a sermon about what you are being called to now, I began to think a lot about how I have no idea. Everything seems to be going against what I am trying to do to no fault of my own. I told Tim that something in the universe does not want me to get licensed with all of the difficulties I have had. I hope and  let go and then it crashes around me. I think I'm clear and get hit again.

Does it mean anything, who knows? Am I to do something else, who knows? But I know I need to quit thinking about my own world. My problems aren't the end of my world, though at times, I won't lie, it feels as if they are - because it feels as if I'm being defeated. Some days, I just wonder why I keep trying to reach this goal with so many things working against me. I know this is my calling. I know it's what I am supposed to do. Who knew that something I'm called to do would be so hard to obtain.

I know things will work out. I know things will be fine. Because sooner or later it has to come out of this rut. I know HE has a plan. I know that. It's my doubts sneaking up on me saying, are you sure you can trust? It's my fear that something out of my control will not get done. But people just don't talk about these doubts. They don't talk about these fears. I figure if Thomas can doubt Jesus is in front of him, I can have my doubts too.

This song really stood out to me. I love the artist, Matthew West -- My Own Little World & The Motions & When I Say I Do are three I really love. But this one I heard today. No, I'm not at rock bottom. But I can agree that sometimes I feel not strong enough.

Strong Enough

 

You must

You must think I'm strong

To give me what I'm going through

Well, forgive me

Forgive me if I'm wrong

But this looks like more than I can do

On my own

I know I'm not strong enough to be

everything that I'm supposed to be

I give up

I'm not stong enough

Hands of mercy won't you cover me

Lord right now I'm asking you to be

Strong enough

Strong enough

For the both of us

Well, maybe

Maybe that's the point

To reach the point of giving up

Cause when I'm finally

Finally at rock bottom

Well, that's when I start looking up

And reaching out

I know I'm not strong enough to be

Everything that I'm supposed to be

I give up

I'm not stong enough

Hands of mercy won't you cover me

Lord right now I'm asking you to be

Strong enough

Strong enough

Cause I'm broken

Down to nothing

But I'm still holding on to the one thing

You are God

and you are strong

When I am weak

I can do all things

Through Christ who gives me strength

And I don't have to be

Strong enough

Strong enough

I can do all things

Through Christ who gives me strength

And I don't have to be

Strong enough

Strong enough

Oh, yeah

I know I'm not strong enough to be

Everything that I'm supposed to be

I give up

I'm not stong enough

Hands of mercy won't you cover me

Lord right now I'm asking you to be

Strong enough

Strong enough

Strong enough

The past month!

A lot has happened! Gayle came, My Family came, Botanical Gardens, I graduated, Family Christmas, I had a White Christmas, I worked a LOT of hours at the grocery store, New Years, Tim's last day at Macaroni Grill.

All jumping too: This past week!

My deadline for the LPC board was due on the 7th. That resulted in NUMEROUS calls made to the various organizations begging and pleading for them to get my forms in. It also resulted in numerous times where I thought to myself, "how does this happen?" People would tell me they couldn't do anything without my forms, and after I continued to tell them my forms were in and I had proof of delivery, magically someone would have just walked in the door with my form in hand ready to process it! I am 98% certain all the forms got in! So, I could be licensed in February! However, I am offically a National Certified Counselor.  Still can't get a job but I have national certification, whoo hoo.

Then Tim got sick. Then Mom went to the hospital. I went back and forth between the two and getting the Piper for the day or to go out in order to help out Mom/Dad. I did get my Dad somewhat into couponing since he had to do the grocery shopping! Haha, it was hilarious. Mom is coming home today. Tim is finally a little coherent, but still sick.

I am looking forward to this week. I'm not working much, so it's a mini vacation for me! I need it! : ) Hope you all have had a Merry Christmas & a Happy New Year! Here is to hoping 2011 is great!