I have a goal....

Reading a friend's blog tonight, I realized, I need to set a goal. I am now publizing it so I have more motivation to follow it since I have told everyone.

Preface: Losing weight is hard for me and always has been. It takes a lot of effort and I rarely see results. I am about to embark on an adventure But I am going to try my hardest to work on it this month and see in 1 month how far I've gotten.

So what's my actual goal? To get back to my wedding weight.

We'll see in one month where I am!

1 month.

Let's refresh to last month on August 18th - I'll give you a brief recap...We had to get two new tires because we almost blew out two tires when the tread came all the way through.

This month on September 18th - Tim thinks something is going wrong with the car. He gets out, walks behind the car as I drive slowly and says, "Stop!" I get out and look with him at our rear tire. We stare at the huge bulge in the rear tire. The one that was fine a month ago. So, we head off again to the car shop for two new tires and a new alignment. As they are going to do the alignment they realized that there is a tire rod (or something) broken, hence the reason our alignments have not lasted.

So one month and a few hours later we have had: Four brand new tires, 1 new tire rod, and 2 alignments. Oh the joys.

Practicum

I find myself asking myself one thing every day: Really? I have seen a lot and heard a lot. Here is a glimpse of my life as of late:

The juvenile court counselors who sit there, mouths gaping, at the newest client they have referred. The sick woman who reading her file makes it seem like she is 40 years older than she is and can't remember the 20 medicines she takes a day. The man who had a DWI and just wants to "get on wit his life so he can make money." The person who LOVES talking to you because really she has a personality disorder that makes her crave attention. The, "I'm fine. I'm great" client who just attempted suicide. The mixed up siuation in which everyone is seeking therapy and everyone is related and really...they shouldn't be in the same state. The woman who tells me she isn't depressed but has every single symptom. The woman who comes to therapy but says "talking doesn't help." The individuals only coming to seek drugs. The fact that three of the four clients I see have a substance abuse disorder. I'm geting used to asking every client if they want to kill themself, kill someone else, and if they hear or see things that other people don't hear or see.

Oh, my first couple weeks on the job. I'm learning a lot.....it's intense. I have good days and bad, but I really love it so far.

I think in blogs...

So, sometimes, something comes along that my first reaction is, "I must blog this." This story is one of those things....

Tim and I headed out to Memphis and Searcy, to visit family and friends, and were SO excited that we were going. Picture me, speechless because I was so excited, and jumping up and down. Yes, that excited. I worked Saturday morning, we left following my getting off work. I barely made it to the TN line before I needed Tim to drive. I was done (I hate driving - it makes me sleepy). Tim drove to Memphis. Pretty typical things.

After visiting family, we leave Monday morning. We are prepared to make the 2 hour drive. About half way there, we hear a noise. A weird one. I look behind us and nothing had fallen off our car, I don't see anything, so we keep driving. Then, the car starts making a noise. It's like "thudump....thudump....thudump..." and I look over at Tim, and see his arm, shaking pretty furiously, as the STEERING wheel is vibrating it. It continues to "thudump" and his arm continues to shake rapidly. Have I mentioned, we're on 64, with no cell phone service and no town nearby?

We get to Searcy, pull over, get out and look at the car. We see nothing. We drive around, hearing the "thudumps" as we go. Finally, we get to Sara's and unload our bags. Tim believes we should get the car checked out immediately in case it will take a few days to fix. We head out to find some small shop with no cars so they can check it out immediately. I'm angry at this point. I hate this car and am about to give it away.

Then, the guy walks in, with the most peculiar expression on his face and says, "You need to come look at this." So we go look. I stand there, staring at my car and I know my mouth has to be wide open. I stand there gaping, as Tim goes to the back of the car. Want to know why I was gaping? Here:




Yes. This was the right front tire. Stripped to the core of the tire. Want to know what Tim was looking at? The back left tire, with metal wirings coming out as well. Oh yes, the man looked at us and said, "Good thing you stopped when you did. You were about to blow two tires. I don't know how this one didn't blow already." Needless to say, he didn't to tires. So we drove, carefully, to Sara's and stayed put that night. Next morning, we drove, carefully, to the tire shop and got two tires replaced & an alignment.

I have never seen a tire look like that. I never want to see it again. Oh the adventures....

Good, bad, and the in between!

Let's start with:

From the last time I blogged, our car had issues. We had to get a new transmission, finacial aid was being a pain, and oh yeah Tim's wallet got either lost/stolen in Portland at the airport! I wanted to break down and cry but we were on VACATION!

The weekend, after that moment, was WONDERFUL! Stephen and Emily's wedding was so pretty and it was a blast to be there with friends we hadn't seen since our wedding in July. We hung out a lot with Aaron and Erin, so that was fun! We also went to the coast & I got to stick my feet in the Pacific Ocean!!!







Since then, we got back and school has been in full blast! I have conducted two play therapy sessions, and LOVED it! I am going to get a certificate in Play Therapy and hopefully work with children using this type of therapy. I'll update soon with more, I'm just tired of typing! So there's a mini update on our life!

The week of insanity

So, last night began the week of insanity:

I was to work on Monday, start summer school Tuesday/Wednesday, leave for our flight at 6:15am on Thursday, be in Oregon and start wedding festivities while catching up with great friends! I was running around trying to get everything ready and Tim finally got me to calm down and relax.

I went to work this morning - I had a really long day and after many delays, I was on my way home. I was below empty really, so Dad put some gas in my car so I could make it to a station. I filled up, and got on the interstate. I was exhausted. Then it started raining.

I hate rain. I hate driving in the rain. I hate driving in the rain on the interstate. I hydroplane off an exit ramp in Sep/Oct so I was being really cautious going to that same exit. All of my sudden my car makes a funny noise. Not loud, not weird, just funny. All of a sudden as I round the bend of a the ramp and start heading up the hill to turn right on 49 (mind you, I'm 1 mile from home).

So, all of a sudden, my car refuses to drive. It starts actually going in REVERSE. I start heading down the hill. I throw it in park, I try other gears, and get nothing. My car continues to go in reverse rather than drive. I put my hazards on, frantically call Tim, and hope no one comes sharply around the turn and hits me. Tim gets there, we call Allstate, they send a tow truck. One hour and fifteen minutes after my car refuses to drive, the tow truck gets there. One hour and fifteen minutes of freaking out and thinking someone is going to hit my car.

So now, I have no car. Mandy Jo is taking me to class tomorrow. I have no idea how I'll get to class Wednesday. HOPEFULLY, all goes well and the car can get fixed. I have no idea what's wrong. Tim thinks it's the transition. Let's hope the rest of the week goes better!

Buddha.

I went to a Buddhist meditation service last night. Tim had to work so he didn't go but my dad decided he would come with me. An interesting experience to say the least but enjoyable.

The entire service lasted about 40 minutes but the time absolutely flew by. During meditation, I found myself loving every minute of it because it was a time to sit still. When does that happen? When can I just sit and think and relax to the core of me and be okay? Life goes so fast that it seems like I can't even sleep because of too much to do. Like right now, I'm cooking lunch, blogging, sorting papers, opening mail, cutting coupons, and filing papers.

My meditation time last night was so nice. Despite I doubt I "truly" cleared my mind, it was so relaxing to just sit at peace with myself. I won't ever search for Buddhahood or their enlightenment, but I loved the idea of meditation to listen to the wisdom within yourself. The silence and peace of not DOING anything was also really nice.

Too Much Too Quick

Taryn said I was the world's worst blogger. She is right. I probably am. But, too much has happened too quickly. Let's recap:

Beginning September:
Was very very sick. Did not know what was going on but I had no appetite, I was sick all the time. I could only eat crackers and Special K Cereal Bars. I lost a lot of weight. That's when we realized I've lost 15.5 pounds since the end of January & 7.5 since May. After medicine and experimenting - the doctor told me I am lactose intolerant. No more milk or ice cream for me. I hate the soy stuff. Lactose free is okay. I have to take calcium supplements or stuff like that. I've sinced quit losing weight and am maintaining a normal one.

September 26th:
I was in a car accident at a wet exit as I was getting off the interstate. I hydroplaned, lost complete control of the car, started fishtailing, and went off the exit into a deep ditch with rocks. I was okay - just sore and stiff from whiplash. However, this was the only car that Tim and I had. I landed on several rocks & they had to tow it out. Oh yes, on top of this, I got a ticket for "failing to recognize such a move could be made in safety."

The following 2-3 weeks:
We fought with insurance as they told us the car was a "total loss" because of COSMETIC damage. The mechanic said it was perfectly safe, no hesitation. Needless to say, our crappy insurance people made us lose our car. We were without a car for 10 days before they offered us a rental - and then they only gave it to us for 3 days. Luckily, Mom and Dad let us borrow their car. They were carpooling so we could have one to get around in.

Beginning - Mid October:
I work 6am to 12 noon every day. I then have night classes every night. A week and a half of very little sleep and lack of energy for homework.

October 11:
We get up at 6:30am and start looking for cars. Finally at 4:00pm we find one and buy it. We ended up getting a 2003 Ford Taurus. We can't pick it up until the 13th.

October 14, oh wait, that's today:
I get a call from Tim's cell phone with someone from his work saying, "Tim passed out, fell, hit his head, and the ambulence is about to take him to the hospital." Needless to say, I'm freaked out & thankfully my dad meets me at the hospital. Tim's blood pressure when they first measured it was 68/28. Oh yes, and he was so cold his lips & fingers were blue. Finally, after two bags of fluid later, it went back to normal. We were able to leave the hospital with a very weak and cold Tim. It took a long time to get him to our apartment, thankfully my dad was there to make sure Tim didn't fall or to catch him if he did. He's here, resting, and I'm forcing fluids down him. They said his blood work was fine, but apparently he was severely dehydrated.

So yes, I'm a horrible blogger. But life, is a little rough right now, with way too much happening way too quick. God has been faithful to this point, so I'm still hanging on.....I'll try and blog more when I can breathe.

Love.

When the rains come down.....

Yesterday in my CSLG Management class I was asked what symbol represents where I am in life right now. I chose the partly cloudy weather icon. The reason being, was that there have been both good things and uncertain and/or bad things happen right along with it. Today, I feel like the rain!

Two days ago, I went to my first grad school class. While nervous, driving in the rain, and only being on the campus a total of 3 times before this day, I ended up in the wrong area of the parking deck. Apparently, the parking deck entrance on one side is for floors 1-4 and is where students are to park. The parking deck entrance on the other side of the building is for floors 5-6 and is for visitors that you have to pay to park in. Well, needless to say, I ended up on the visitor side and the lady would not let me out. I tried. Anyways, so I ended up on the wrong parking deck floor, realizing I had no cash to get out of the parking deck, so I just went to class. It was POURING RAIN. My feet and socks were soaked and by the time I made it to class, I was miserable. I thought, "if this is what grad school is going to be like, I want out." Anyways, I managed to talk my way out of paying. I don't know if it was because I sounded so pathetic or if it was because I was a girl and the parking attendant that night was a college guy.

Then, yesterday. Oh wow. Tim hated his job. He tried and tried to like it but it was was making us miserable. We barely got to see each other because of his ridiculous hours. The economy stinks. He's been trying to stick it out. Long story short, he no longer works there. He's happier though, which is good. But a busy, crazy, emotional, and stressful day.

So, it's also been raining a lot in Charlotte. As in 8 inches in two days. That's a little ridiculous and roads are flooding as well as some apartment complexes. Anyways, so here is today's entry into my life. I wake up this morning at 7:30 to someone ringing our doorbell. Tim gets up to answer it and someone asked us to move our car. Apparently, a car was in between two of the apartments, beat up, and sitting in the midst of large rocks. I have no idea how that car got there or what happened. Anyways, for an hour this morning the tow truck and two police cars were there trying to get this car out. THEN, I go back into the bedroom and am laying down, when I see something. I said, "Tim, that spot on the ceiling is a lot bigger than yesterday." (We've had this spot that looked dried - just like a stain.) Well, we feel it and it's wet. So - there is a leak in the roof & now they have to call a contractor and maintenance. We have a massive stain on our ceiling. Let's just hope it doesn't rain anymore!

I was talking to Dad and he said, "Life will always give you rough and interesting times, it's just a matter of how you handle them."